On The Daily Show this evening, Trevor Noah has an AMAZING opening monologue.
Not to spoil it too much, but he argued that Donald Trump was quite presidential, only the presidency in question was an African one, like Muammar Qaddafi, Idi Amin, and Robert Mugabe.
It was brilliant.
I am now adding Mr. Noah to the most sacred and hermetic order of People I Do Not Want to Piss Off.
It appears that the Cows have begun their guerrilla campaign to take over the world:
The way to catch a cow is through its stomach – at least that’s what New Hartford police are hoping.It's like the beginning of Planet of the Apes.
On Monday, the department set a trap for the rogue cow that continues to make appearances along Route 840. Police previously told the O-D the cow weighs about 1,500 pounds and has been on the loose for several months. Efforts to identify its owner have been unsuccessful.
“Currently we’re trying to feed it and trap it at the same time,” police Chief Michael Inserra said. “Clinton Tractor has been gracious enough to loan us what is called a headlock feeder ... and as (the cow is) feeding on it, a spring-loading locking mechanism will trap the cow in the feeder by its head.”
Headlock feeders are regularly used by farmers and trap cows in a way similar to how a child’s head could become trapped in a banister.
Inserra said police placed the trap Monday and are checking on it hourly. If the cow is successfully trapped, a local farmer has agreed to take it, he said.
“We’re assuming it’s going to take a few days for the cow hopefully to approach this trap,” Inserra said. “It’s a very skittish animal.”
Stephanie Kelly and her friends spotted the rogue cow on Route 8 on Thursday, while she and other members of the Sauquoit Valley Garden Club were on their way back from a trip to Old Forge.
Kelly said the cow appeared to be scared, and was running down the road for several miles – holding up southbound traffic – before it ran off into the brush shortly before the Washington Mills exit.
A rural community college became the site of America’s latest mass shooting on Thursday as a lone gunman burst into classrooms during the school day and mowed down terrified students before being shot dead in a firefight with police, authorities said.Let's be clear here: This is no longer news.
Officials said nine people were killed, plus the gunman, and seven injured during the traumatic events at Umpqua Community College, about three hours south of Portland.
A U.S. law enforcement official identified the gunman as 26-year-old Chris Harper Mercer of Winchester, Ore. He was described as wearing a dark shirt and jeans while spewing bullets from what appeared to be three pistols and possibly a semiautomatic rifle.
The billionaire CEO of SpaceX and Tesla Motors appeared on the second episode of Stephen Colbert’s Late Show last night (Sept. 9) to discuss his various business ventures. Colbert asked him about his plan to send people to Mars, which Musk described as a “fixer-up” of a planet. That led to this exchange:I will make a couple of points here:
“Eventually you can transform Mars into an Earthlike planet,” Musk said. “By warming it up.”
“With a blanket?” Colbert asked.
No, Stephen, not with a blanket. With a great number of thermonuclear bombs:
Musk has publicly supported this idea for a long time, but we’d wager it’s the first time anyone’s suggested it on a late-night talk show. The idea is that the nukes would melt the Mars’ polar ice caps and kickstart a greenhouse effect—similar to the one we’re currently experiencing on Earth—that would quickly make the planet warmer.
When juxtaposed with some of Nestle's earlier behavior, the news that NASA's discovery that there are current water flows on Mars, it is an obvious bit of humor:
Spectroscopic data from NASAThis is actually rather significant.
’s 10-year-old Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter have confirmed years of scientific suspicion that periodic dark streaks appearing on Martian slopes are the result of liquid water flowing on the planet’s surface.
The dark features, known as recurring slope lineae (RSL), have been observed for years by the orbiter’s High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment (HiRISE) and have appeared on dozens of sites at Mars. This imagery was later correlated with mineral mapping by another instrument, the Compact Reconnaissance Imaging Spectrometer for Mars (CRISM), which determined that the dark streaks are hydrated minerals — i.e., thin patches of damp soil. The salt lowers the freezing point of the water, allowing it to persist longer in Mars’ thin, cold atmosphere.
“Our quest on Mars has been to ‘follow the water,’ in our search for life in the universe, and now we have convincing science that validates what we’ve long suspected,” said John Grunsfeld, NASA’s associate administrator for science and a former space shuttle astronaut, during a Sept. 28 press conference. “Mars is not the dry, arid planet that we thought of in the past. Under certain circumstances, liquid water has been found on Mars.”
