Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Monday, October 30, 2017
For Want of a Hyphen, a Kingdom Was Lost………
Headline of the day. pic.twitter.com/e41IXo4Tsy— Derf Backderf (@DerfBackderf) October 30, 2017
First we see the consequences of people dropping the Oxford comma, and now we seen the consequence of not knowing how to use a hyphen (and how the elimination of copy editors has impacted journalism, but that is a separate rant).

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Labels: 40yrs, Funny, Journalism, Language
Friday, October 27, 2017
Death Wears Fuzzy Bunny Slippers
It turns out that while waiting for the literal end of the world, nuclear crews spend a lot of time waiting ……… and waiting ……… and waiting ……… and waiting ……… and waiting.
Two guys a hundred feet underground for 24+ hours waiting for the call that they hope never comes.
One is watching the dials, and the other one gets comfortable and relaxed so that they will be sharp when his turn comes to watch the dials.
Snuggies and fuzzy bunny slippers are a not infrequent part of the latter regime, hence the most awesome unit patch ever.
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Labels: 40yrs, Art, Fashion, Military, Nuclear Weapons, Weird
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Midvale School for the Gifted
I was going to Maariv* at the local Kollel†, so that I could say Kaddish‡ for her.
Charlie came with me, because we studied some Gemara€ before services.
Charlie walked into the study area, and pushed the door open (it swings both ways) despite the large signs taped to it marked "Pull."
I said, "Midvale School for the Gifted," and Charlie gave me a blank look.
I had to remind him that it was a Gary Larson cartoon.
*Evening services.
†Community religious study center.
‡A memorial prayer, it is the 41st anniversary of her death.
€A companion work of the Mishna, together they constitute the Talmud.
Thursday, October 19, 2017
This May Be the Worst Thing That I Have Ever Said
We just had a workplace shooting in Maryland and Delaware yesterday.
3 dead and 6 wounded. Just another day at the office.
My wife and I were discussing this as I was getting ready to go to work, and I said, "My advice is always to shoot the boss, not your co-workers."
Sharon,* ever the optimist, asked a very wise question, "How about not shooting anyone."
Without thinking, I replied:
This is America, that's not an option.That was literally the first thought in my head, like some kind of like a Rorschach test.
That may have been the worst thing that I have ever said in my entire life.
I'm not sure if it reflects poorly on me, on our society, on my understanding of our society, or the universe.
*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.
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Tuesday, October 17, 2017
I Have a Script Treatment for the Sharknado XIX
It appears that scientists have discovered that sometimes, alligators hunt and kill sharks:
American alligators are frequently seen ambling around golf courses in Florida as players warily compete their rounds. But new research suggests the reptiles partake in a far more outlandish habit when away from the greens – eating sharks.Nature in all its glory.
US researchers have documented instances of alligators preying upon small sharks along the Atlantic and Gulf coasts. A study, published in the journal Southeastern Naturalist, claims to be the first scientific study of the largely unseen struggle between the two feared predators.
“The frequency of one predator eating the other is really about size dynamic,” said James Nifong, a researcher at Kansas State University. “If a small shark swims by an alligator and the alligator feels like it can take the shark down, it will, but we also reviewed some old stories about larger sharks eating smaller alligators.”
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Tuesday, August 15, 2017
Light Posting for the Next Few Days
Starting a new job at Tate Access Floors, a manufacturer of raised access floors.
As always, this is likely the last time that I will post about Tate, or my job, because blogging about your workplace is not a good way to stay at that workplace.
In any case, I'll be learning the ropes, and as such will have less time to blog for a while.
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Labels: 40yrs, employment, family
Friday, July 21, 2017
The Swedes are the Greatest People on the Face of the Earth
Swedish passenger operator MTR Express opened up a new line between Stockholm and Gothenburg, and they held an online contest to name it, the obvious happened, but unlike the killjoys at the Natural Environment Research Council, they decided to name the line Trainy McTrainface:
A Swedish rail operator has vowed to name one of its trains Trainy McTrainface after a public vote, saying it would bring joy to people disappointed when Britain rejected the name Boaty McBoatface for a polar research ship following a similar poll.This is so cool.
Trainy McTrainface won 49% of the votes in the naming competition, conducted online by train operator MTR Express and Swedish newspaper Metro, beating choices such as Hakan, Miriam and Poseidon.
“[This is] news that will be received with joy by many, not just in Sweden,” MTR wrote in a statement.
The train will run between the Swedish capital Stockholm and Gothenburg, the country’s second-biggest city.
………
MTR said another train had been voted to be named “Glenn”, an apparent tribute to an IFK Gothenburg soccer team of the 1980s that featured four players of that name – uncommon in Sweden – including Glenn Hysen, who later captained Liverpool.
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Labels: 40yrs, Europe, Humor, Language, Polls, Rail, Transportation, win
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Not The Onion
Real headline from the Los Angeles Times:
Nevada Has a Drug Problem: Shops Are Running out of Marijuana
Nevada is running out of pot, and the Department of Taxation is freaking out, because they have been making serious bank from this new industry.
Basically, it's an artifact of lobbying from (you guessed it) liquor distributors, who were opposed to competition for chemically induced stupid:
Nevada officials have declared a state of emergency over marijuana: There’s not enough of it.Needless to say the juxtaposition of legislative cowardice and regulatory and judicial missteps has created a complete clusterf%$#, which has the state of Nevada scrambling to secure a reliable supply of weed.
Since recreational pot became legal two weeks ago, retail dispensaries have struggled to keep their shelves stocked and say they will soon run out if nothing is done to fix a broken supply chain.
“We didn’t know the demand would be this intense,” Al Fasano, cofounder of Las Vegas ReLeaf, said Tuesday. "All of a sudden you have like a thousand people at the door.…We have to tell people we’re limited in our products.”
In declaring a state of emergency late last week, the state Department of Taxation warned that “this nascent industry could grind to a halt.”
As bad as that would be for marijuana consumers and the pot shops, the state has another concern: tax revenue. A 10% tax on sales of recreational pot — along with a 15% tax on growers — is expected to generate tens of millions of dollars a year for schools and the state’s general fund reserves.
………
In the run-up to last year’s state referendum over legalization — which was overwhelmingly approved by voters, allowing people aged 21 and over to buy or possess up to an ounce of marijuana — the state’s powerful alcohol lobby worried that legalized weed would cut into liquor store sales.
So in a concession to the the alcohol industry, the ballot measure stipulated that for the first 18 months of pot sales only wholesale alcohol distributors would be allowed to transport marijuana from cultivation facilities to the dispensaries.
When legalization took effect July 1, nearly 50 dispensaries — all of them already in the medical marijuana business — had been licensed to sell recreational pot. But no alcohol distributors had been approved to transport it.
The state Department of Taxation, which regulates legal marijuana, said it had received about half a dozen applications from alcohol distributors but that none had so far met the state licensing requirements, which include background checks and security protocols.
As a result, the dispensaries have had to rely on marijuana already in stock.
Dispensaries and state officials had anticipated the problem, and in late June the Department of Taxation attempted to loosen the licensing rules to allow dispensaries to transport their own marijuana.
But a District Court judge blocked the request, arguing that the state needed to go through the regulatory process to determine how many distributors were needed. The state appealed the decision to the Nevada Supreme Court.
Under normal circumstances, I'd be asking, "What the f%$# were they smoking when they came up with this?" but in this case, I think that we actually know what they were smoking.
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Friday, June 2, 2017
Crap!
I was driving to pick up the kids from a graduation party, and I got rear ended on the Outer Loop of the Baltimore Beltway.
I could drive home, and the EMTs took a look at me and took vitals, but this is a royal pain in the ass.
The rear bumper and lower rear window (It's a Prius) is trashed, and I was pushed into the truck in front of me.
On the bright side, the car was driveable, and I took it home over local streets.
Right now, I have a sore neck, a headache, and a bruise on my arm, and I am on hold with the insurance company. (The last one is most painful).
I will need to stay awake for the next few hours just to be safe.
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Labels: 40yrs, Automobile, Breaking News, family
Friday, May 26, 2017
Tweet of the Day
Why is everyone a social justice warrior? Why didn't any of you choose a different class like social justice mage or social justice thief?
— 🌺B• R • I • A •N🌺 (@RexTestarossa) March 10, 2017
This is f%$#ing brilliant!
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Labels: 40yrs, Good Writing, Internet, Snark
Thursday, May 25, 2017
And in the Further Adventures of Florida Man………
Before converting,he was also a Neo-Nazi, so I really don't understand how how Mr. Arthurs did not anticipate the reaction of his wannabee Aryan roommates:
A man in Florida who shot two of his roommates dead gave an unusual defense, the authorities say: they were neo-Nazis who had disrespected his recent conversion to Islam.Only in Florida, or maybe Montana.
The arrest of the gunman, who said he had also been a neo-Nazi before becoming Muslim, led to the discovery that a fourth roommate had been stockpiling materials that could be used to create a bomb, according to a federal criminal complaint. That roommate, a member of the Florida National Guard, kept a picture of Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, on his dresser, the authorities said.
Both men are now in custody. The accused gunman, Devon Arthurs, 18, has been charged with two counts of murder, and his surviving roommate, Brandon Russell, 21, has been charged with two counts related to the explosive material and devices.
Only in America………
In the special election for Montana's only Congressional seat, Republican Greg Gianforte has been formally charged with assault for body-slamming a Guardian reporter.
There is an audio tape, and a Fox News camera crew witnessed it:
The Republican candidate for Montana’s congressional seat has been charged with misdemeanor assault after he is alleged to have slammed a Guardian reporter to the floor on the eve of the state’s special election, breaking his glasses and shouting: “Get the hell out of here.”It appears that Gianforte was upset with the Guardian's earlier report detailing his financial ties to sanctioned Russian businesses.
Ben Jacobs, a Guardian political reporter, was asking Greg Gianforte, a tech millionaire endorsed by Donald Trump, about the Republican healthcare plan when the candidate allegedly “body-slammed” the reporter.“He took me to the ground,” Jacobs said by phone from the back of an ambulance. “I think he whaled on me once or twice … He got on me and I think he hit me … This is the strangest thing that has ever happened to me in reporting on politics.”
Fox News reporter Alicia Acuna, field producer Faith Mangan and photographer Keith Railey witnessed the incident at Gianforte’s campaign headquarters in Montana, according to an account published on the Fox News website. After Jacobs asked Gianforte his question, Acuna wrote: “Gianforte grabbed Jacobs by the neck with both hands and slammed him into the ground behind him.
“Faith, Keith and I watched in disbelief as Gianforte then began punching the man, as he moved on top the reporter and began yelling something to the effect of ‘I’m sick and tired of this!’ … To be clear, at no point did any of us who witnessed this assault see Jacobs show any form of physical aggression toward Gianforte, who left the area after giving statements to local sheriff’s deputies.”
Jacobs subsequently reported the incident to the police. The Gallatin county sheriff’s office said on Wednesday night it had completed its investigation and that Gianforte had been issued with a charge of misdemeanour assault.
With heavy early voting, and with a significant portion of the Republican electorate objectively support assault in general, and assaults on journalists in particular, this nut-job is still likely to win the race, because ……… Montana.
Friday, May 19, 2017
Reality is Weird
Have you heard of the The U.S. Cyber Consequences Unit?
Here is their description of themselves:
The U.S. Cyber Consequences Unit (US-CCU) is an independent, non-profit (501c3) research institute. It provides assessments of the strategic and economic consequences of possible cyber-attacks and cyber-assisted physical attacks. It also investigates the likelihood of such attacks and examines the cost-effectiveness of possible counter-measures.Do you know what the name of their director is?
Although the US-CCU aims to provide credible estimates of the costs of ordinary hacker mischief and white collar crime, its primary concern is the sort of larger scale attacks that could be mounted by criminal organizations, terrorist groups, rogue corporations, and nation states.
The mission of the US-CCU is to provide America and its allies with the concepts and information necessary for making sound security decisions in a world where our physical well-being increasingly depends on cyber-security. The reports and briefings the US-CCU produces are supplied without charge to the government, to entire critical infrastructure industries, and to the public.
It's Scott Borg.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
But of Course
Dakota Access Pipeline Has First Leak before Pipeline Is Fully OperationalNo further comment required.—The Guardian
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Labels: 40yrs, Anthropogenic Climate Change, Energy, FAIL, Pollution, Transportation
Monday, May 8, 2017
Headline of the Day
Stephen Fry Blasphemy Probe Dropped after Gardaà Fail to Find 'Substantial Number of Outraged People'There is something profoundly amusing about the phrase, "Substantial number of outraged people."—Irish Independent
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Labels: 40yrs, Good Writing, Religion, Weird
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Headline of the Day
'Jesus' Invaded Home, Prayed with Man, Stole Golf Cart, Asked to Fornicate with Police: This May Be Greatest Criminal Narrative of All TimeI have never partied that hard.—Cleveland Scene
I probably never will.
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Labels: 40yrs, Good Writing, Weird
Monday, February 27, 2017
Headline of the Day
iPhones and sex toys may cost more if there's a US-China trade warTrust the Beeb to get to the ……… heart ……… of the matter.—BBC News
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Labels: 40yrs, Foreign Relations, Funny, International Commerce
Monday, February 13, 2017
Newspaper Screw Up of the Day
It's not technically a typographical error, since it is the wrong picture, and not an error in typography, but it's a real doozy:
A newspaper in the Dominican Republic printed a photo of Hollywood star Alec Baldwin playing President Donald Trump in a story about the real-life US president.
The snafu appeared in the Friday editions of El Nacional, The Daily Dot reported.
The photo showing Baldwin as Trump was captioned in Spanish: 'Donald Trump, president of the United States'.
They should have known. The hands are WAY too big.
El Nacional issued an apology on its website Saturday for the photo mistake.
It said in Spanish: 'On Friday El Nacional published a photo of actor Alec Baldwin, who imitates the President of the United States on a television program.
'The picture was sent that day by the Associated Press (AP) with the name of the actor and information about the program, but it was placed as if it were the one of Trump, a situation that went unnoticed for all those who reviewed page 19.
'El Nacional apologizes to the readers and to all those who felt affected by the publication.
H/t AS the Stellar Parthenon BBS.
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Labels: 40yrs, FAIL, Journalism, Media
Friday, January 27, 2017
I Am Losing My Motherf%$#Ing Mind
I was talking with Sharon* about our schedule for the weekend, and I noted that we needed to get me, "……… Those things with aglets on the end."
I had forgotten the word for shoe laces, but I had remembered the word for the little tips of the shoelaces.
Clearly, I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.
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