I Can't F%$#ing Believe that I Said That to My Daughter

It happened twice in a 24 hour period.

In the 2^nd, and somewhat less alarming case, I was driving Natalie to an outing at the mall with her friends, and she needed some money, and I knew that she had money in her cash account, but I was not sure that I needed to go to an ATM, so I handed her my wallet, and asked her to count the cash in it.

And then it hit me, I just asked my teenage daughter to go through my wallet and count my cash.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I handed my daughter my wallet, and I told her to count my money?!?!?

In the 1^st instance, we were talking about relationships, and boys, and texting, and we were talking about how some of the kids in her school were making "impolitic" posts to their significant others.

I was trying to impress upon her that "sexting" was a really bad idea, because you never know when pictures like this will end up.

I ended my comments with the statement that, "If she wants to show her breasts to a boyfriend, she should do it in person, and not with a cell phone picture."

And she looked at me.

And my wife looked at me.

And my son looked at me.

And I realized what I said, and, as a result, I probably looked like a cow that had just stepped on its own udder.

I am so not going to get a trophy for parent of the year.