God Bless The Onion

President's Approval Rating Soars After Punching Wall Street Banker in Face



And in a related story:

The banker punch may have also been a boon for President Obama's efforts to pass his American Jobs Act. When asked if he still opposed the bill this afternoon, a visibly nervous Republican house majority leader Eric Cantor said, "No no no. I'll pass whatever the President wants. P-p-please don't let him hurt me."

Heh.